I’d like to say a breeze, but you can be the judge of that.

I mean Tina reckons I can be difficult at times, but she’s a Sagittarrian and they think everyone is difficult. Ask anyone.

If I’ve learnt anything, telling a story the way it deserves to be told isn’t always easy.

There’s an art to it.

Compliance isn’t a great storyteller.

Having said that, I can’t do my job without having a good bedside manner.

For this to turn out the way you want, I need your trust.

There might be times when you feel uncomfortable. You might feel uneasy with a photo I’ve taken. You might be a bit nervous about something I’ve written.

That’s ok. It’s all part of the process. If that happens, we talk it through until you aren’t.

The only thing that matters is at the end of it all you can look at what we’ve made and go yeah, that’s me.

That’s exactly what happened.

An interview sounds a bit daunting Like there’s a test at the end. Something you pass or fail. There isn’t and you don’t.

But I will ask lots of questions.

I say this takes 90 minutes to a few hours depending on what we cover. But there’s no rush. It might take longer.

Telling me, or anyone, your story honestly requires an enormous amount of trust and courage.

It’s not something just anyone can do.

The more I learn and the more you let me in, the better the story will be.

The wonderful Sam Hunt summed the creative process up best:

Tell the story, tell it true, charm it crazy.

I’m not here to make you look bad. Why would I? That’s crazy. But I am here to find vulnerability, which is just another word for character.

If you’re brave enough to show it, you’ll look good and your story will be a strong one.

If you can trust me to find it, then I guarantee you’ll end up with a portrait you’ll be truly and quietly proud of.

There are a few ways to answer this.

First, have a really good look around the sinners and saints portfolio if you’re serious.

There’s quite a few shots, and they’re there for no other reason than I like them. So if you see something you like, then we’re off to a good start.

We all have wrinkles and blemishes. They’re nature’s way of documenting our life stories.

My job is to make you comfortable about being seen as you are. That’s where real beauty lives.

To me a flattering shot is one where you’ve let your guard down. That’s the real you. Vulnerable and heroic come from similar places.

If you trust me to find that spot, then I will. Your catastrophe will be all the better and richer for it.

If you’re really worried about how you look and come across, then this probably isn’t for you.

A catastrophe can happen anywhere on the planet.

All travel and expenses outside of Auckland are additional costs.

Where we shoot is something we’ll talk about in our first conversation.

I live in Auckland but love the Waikato and Hawkes Bay. Wellington is a place I love spending time in, as is Christchurch Queenstown and Wanaka. Then there’s Alex, and Nasby. Love Sydney and Melbourne, Tokyo Kathmandu and New York. London and Amalfi are on the list to revisit and then there’s the South American continent to explore. Oh, the places we’d go

There are two types of portraits. Two stories. Milestones takes about three or four weeks from go to whoa. And allow six weeks for the full catastrophe.

A framed photograph allow two weeks. ‘zines are printed in the UK and the books are bound in the US. Allow three weeks for these to be printed and delivered.

If you were planning on getting any of these as gifts, that should give you some idea.

Yes, sometimes things get done quicker, but don’t count on it. If there’s a date you need to make then the earlier we can talk the better.

Good can be hurried. Great, not so much.

Products that cost less than $6000 need to be paid in full and through the online store.

The Full Catastrophe product can be commissioned by either paying in full or a 50% deposit.

Unfortunately Squarespace don’t have an option to take deposits, so if you want to do this, I’ll send an invoice and you pay by bank transfer.

A bit messy, and not as seamless as ‘buy now’ but what can you do?

The remaining 50% is payable I deliver the story, but before any third party suppliers, like printers, framers and publishers start their bit.

Or just hit the buy now button if you like things easier.

Here’s everything you need to know about a full catastrophe written portrait.

Commissioning work:  A booking is confirmed on full payment for purchases under $6,000, or a 50% deposit for purchases over $6,000.

The balance is due on approval of final files and before any third party work is started.

Cancellations within 7 days of a scheduled shoot forfeit the deposit.

Delivery: Final photographs and written work will be delivered within an agreed timeframe discussed at the time of booking. Print and book production timelines are subject to third party suppliers.

Allow two or three weeks for most printed items as a guide if you’re thinking of buying a photo memoir as a gift.

Photographs Simon Shattky retains copyright of all images. Clients receive a licence to use images for personal use and your social media. Commercial use requires separate written agreement.

Use of photographs for portfolio, website, and promotional purposes is retained by Simon Shattky unless a buy-out is negotiated separately.

The only exception is when the image is of a child. I won’t publish these in any form without your written permission first.

Satisfaction I want you to love what we make together. Like really love it. If something isn't right, let's talk before assuming it can't be fixed.

Governing law These terms are governed by the laws of New Zealand.

I do love a good chinwag.

So you can come through on the talking stick, or send a text or whatsapp

+64 21 830 295

Equally good is email though. Sometimes it’s good to write things down

simon@thefullcatastrophe.life

Of course if you wanted to be really fancy you could send a letter.

I mean sure, it takes longer, and no one does it anymore - which makes it a good idea for that reason alone - but who doesn’t like getting a letter, especially when it isn’t a bill?

So if you have good handwriting, an envelope, or a postcard and stamps, send it to me at:

Simon Shattky, 333 / 8 Upper Queen St, Auckland 1010

Biography and Portraiture.